Can't Say No Read online

  “I’m not!” Then she frowned, wondering if he might be right. He had his pick of the most beautiful ladies in the city. Sometimes her doubts about herself caused her to wonder why he’d picked her. She was no great beauty. She couldn’t afford expensive clothes or to have her hair and nails done professionally. How long before he became bored with her?

  “You’d rather fight than tell me what you were crying about when I called.” He sighed. “The kids depend on you. They know they can count on you to be there for them. I want to be that person for you…the one you, beautiful lady, can count on.”

  “You don’t ask for much, do you?” she said as she released a weary sound. “Ralph, give me some slack. It’s after midnight, and I’m exhausted.”

  He growled something that she didn’t catch. “What did you say?”

  “Nothing important,” he grumbled.

  “So repeat what you said.”

  “I will, right after you respond to the ‘count on me’ comment.”

  “Ralph, I do count on you.” Maybe too much, she didn’t add. After all, she was afraid of repeating her mother’s mistakes…growing to depend on a man and caring too much. Did she dare trust him with her heart?

  “Okay, beautiful. I know you think I’m pushing, but I’m not. Well, I don’t mean to pressure you. I know you have a lot going on right now, but…”

  She waited a few moments for him to finish. When he didn’t, she prompted, “…but?”

  “I can’t help how I feel about you. I’m falling in love with you, Vanessa Grant.”

  Vanessa covered her mouth to hold in a scream and nearly strangled herself by the sharp intake of air that turned into a coughing fit. When she could finally speak, she blurted out, “Ralph, you can’t mean that!”

  He snarled, “So now you are going to tell me how I feel? Give me some credit. It isn’t something I planned. It just happened.”

  With her hands curled into fists from fear and doubts, Vanessa bit her tongue to keep from yelling. She couldn’t handle his kind of love. How long would it last? A month…two, until the next beauty caught his eye? She couldn’t believe, not without leaving herself wide open to hurt and pain. No, she couldn’t risk it. Maybe if she had only herself to think of. But she had kids depending on her to make the right decisions. No, she had to be careful.

  “I really thought we had gotten past the lines, Ralph. Now you tell me this! Why?”

  “What did you say?”

  “Oh, you heard me. Loud and clear.” She glared at the telephone.

  Evidently he heard the frustration in her voice. “This is no line, Vanessa. And it’s clear your defenses are firmly in place tonight. You’re doing your level best to push me away. It’s not working.”

  “It was worth the effort. We both know I couldn’t push you if I tried. You’re too big!” She forced out a laugh, struggling to make light of it. What a mess.

  “Believe it! I am too stubborn to give up and run the other way, gorgeous.”

  She didn’t add he wasn’t that stubborn. And she was not blind. She was the flavor of the moment. The minute he had enough he would be gone…ready to move on to the next gorgeous challenge. For a while she’d had her head in fantasy land. No more. It was time to deal with the unvarnished truth. Yes, she cared about him, but she was not about to let him know just how deep her feelings went.

  “I know it’s an effort to keep all the names straight, but mine is Vanessa, not gorgeous. I have my feet planted on God’s green earth. No games.”

  “Thanks for clearing that up for me. Are you done?”

  “Yeah,” she said tiredly, all the fight having gone out of her. “I need my friend back, badly.” She couldn’t handle the demanding lover. “Please, don’t be angry.”

  “I’m not.” He sighed. “Dinner tomorrow? Do you want to eat in or out?” he said matter-of-factly.

  “Out. Can we come by your place? Please.”

  “The kids need a distraction?” he said quietly.

  “Something like that. You don’t mind?” She pushed her hair out of her face, too tired to even put it in a braid.

  “Nope. I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Thanks, Ralph. I’ll bring the food.”

  “Not necessary. I’ll take a slab of Corky’s Ribs out of the freezer.”

  “What can I bring?”

  “You and that new red swimsuit,” he teased.

  She giggled. “You, Ralph Prescott, are so wrong.”

  Chuckling, he said, “Glad you noticed. See you around six.”

  “Okay. And thanks again,” she murmured sleepily. “Good night.” As long as they both knew where they stood in this so-called relationship, no one would end up hurt when it was over.

  Ralph was swearing as he hung up the phone. He told himself he had every right to be ticked, every reason to walk and never look back. Vanessa had managed to hurt him as no other woman had ever come close to doing. And he’d lay odds that she’d done it without realizing what she was doing. In her attempt to remain up front and honest, his lovely lady had not intended to hurt him, that wasn’t her way. Nonetheless, he was left reeling as if he had received a sucker punch to the gut.

  He released a litany of swearwords that unfortunately for him didn’t do a thing toward easing his heartache. Why wasn’t there a law against falling in love?

  “As bad as it hurts, it should be illegal,” he grumbled aloud. Now she had him talking to himself!

  Yet despite his increasing frustration, he couldn’t remain angry with her.

  What would be the point? She was not trying to hurt him. She was merely stating what she believed to be fact. And she was right, there were plenty of disgruntled females willing to swear on a stack of Bibles that he had taken advantage of them. Even though he knew he’d only taken what had been freely given. Women had the most annoying habit of sticking together.

  When had telling your woman how you feel about her become a line? And why didn’t she believe him? Throwing his past in his face didn’t change how he felt about her. Maybe he was better off this way? Seeing her wearing his ring would be the same as having one through the nose. He didn’t need the hassle of her doubting his every word.

  It hadn’t hurt when he’d been playing around. He had never lied to any of the women. He hadn’t cared enough. There was no doubt that this love thing was kicking his behind.

  With Vanessa, it was different because he was different. There had been no room for pretence. She was real. And she faced real challenges each and every day, just to survive and do her best for her family. She took her role as single parent and caregiver seriously. From day one, he had respected this very special lady…his lady.

  “I wish,” Ralph grumbled out loud.

  He couldn’t even blame her for doubting him. He hadn’t planned to tell her at all. Tonight, the words had slipped out. And there was nothing to be done about it now but deal with it.

  Well, he had to hand it to her. She’d done an exceptional job of protecting herself. It was a pity he hadn’t used a little common sense and done the same. Instead he was running around, like the walking wounded. Why didn’t he just go and stamp “fool” on his forehead and be done with it. He could almost hear Devin laughing his head off, and Gavin would be right beside him. By now Wes had also figured it out! And Kelli had warned him to watch his step. A fat lot of good it had done. Oh no, he’d gone and done exactly what she had predicted…fallen like a ton of bricks.

  Ralph went to his den to the liquor cabinet, where he kept the hard stuff. He poured, then downed a squat glass of Jack Daniel’s. Even as he felt the burn all the way down, he knew it wouldn’t be enough to forget. He could kill the whole bottle and nothing would change. He was falling in love with Vanessa Grant. Even though it scared the hell out of him, he could not walk away. He was in for the duration.

  Twenty-one

  After yet another restless night, Vanessa knew she did not look her best when they arrived at Ralph’s. The kids were glad to
see him and didn’t bother to hide the fact. Although she’d tried, she hadn’t been able to dismiss his vow of love. What if she was wrong? But what if love meant a lifetime for him the way it did for her? No, she just couldn’t risk it. And what made matters worse, Ralph had no idea that she secretly longed for the real thing. How had he managed to hit on her weakness?

  It made her realize that in this sense, she was no different from the others he’d dated in the past. She cared for him, and because of that discovery, she was vulnerable to him in ways she was only just beginning to comprehend.

  Even though she was thoroughly confused by his revelation, when Ralph gave her a hug instead of quickly moving away, she indulged herself. For a long moment, she clung to him with eyes closed, inhaling his clean, male scent, then she pulled back much sooner than she would have liked. Spotting the question in his dark eyes, she gave him a quick, reassuring smile.

  She was emotional and knew if he offered even a hint of sympathy, she would break down, and it wouldn’t be pretty. Hooking her arm through his and much to the twins’ delight, she challenged him to a race across the pool. It wasn’t until they were preparing to leave, while the kids had gone off to collect their things, that Vanessa had a moment to speak to him privately. She reached up and brushed her lips over his. “I can’t thank you enough for…” she stopped abruptly, then asked, “Ralph, why are you scowling?”

  He gave her a hard, kiss, then complained, “I hate that you feel you have to always thank me for every little thing. Enough already! So, tell me, how are you really doing?”

  She sighed, unconsciously stroking his chest. “I’m holding it together, but only by a thread. I’ve been a mess since I told the kids about Cummingham. Somehow the telling only seemed to make it more of a threat. I know it sounds weird. But, it’s how I feel. I can’t bear the thought of losing them. Ralph, they are only babies. They aren’t going to understand, no matter how hard I try to explain it to them.” Eyes filled with tears, she said, “If we lose this case, what am I going to say to them? They are going to feel as if I let them down!”

  He ran a soothing hand over her shoulders. “I know you’re scared, beautiful. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to find a solution. Cummingham may be their natural father, but he hasn’t been the one loving and taking care of them for the past six years. It’s not fair!”

  She blinked to keep the tears from falling while relishing the comfort of his strong arms. “I can’t even tell you how badly I’m dreading tomorrow. No matter what I do or say, it won’t change the truth. Curtis and Courtney are going to meet their father. Good or bad, Cummingham is going to be a part of their lives. And I have no choice but to accept it?”

  He kissed her tenderly. “Is there anything you need me to do to help you through this?”

  Tired, she shook her head, running a caressing hand over his hair-roughened jaw. “If only you could make it all go away. I know, I’m being ridiculous. We can’t run from our problems. Maybe it would help if I could understand what changed his mind?”

  She heard her family coming and took a quick step back, so glad she hadn’t given in to the urge to let it all out. The last thing the kids needed to see was her weeping all over Ralph.

  He gave her a tender kiss. “Try to get some sleep tonight. You’re exhausted.”

  Vanessa whispered, “I’ll try.”

  “Good. I don’t want you up all night worrying. If you need to talk, call me. It doesn’t matter how late it is. Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  The twins were up early on Saturday morning. For once they were not arguing over the cartoons they wanted to see. Vanessa was also up. After breakfast, she and Lana helped the twins get ready for their first visit with their father.

  While Vanessa was combing Courtney’s hair, she realized she hadn’t done as well as she thought when preparing the twins. Courtney, dressed in a pretty yellow-and-white sundress, asked why she and Lana weren’t also getting ready.

  Vanessa explained, “Honey, only you and Curtis are going to visit. Lana and I will be at home, waiting for you and your brother to come back.”

  Curtis, who until then had patiently waited for Lana to finish brushing his hair, shook his head. “But we want you and Lana to come, too.” He was dressed in dark blue pants and a pale yellow shirt.

  “I know, but you and Courtney are going to have so much fun that you won’t even miss us!” Vanessa encouraged as she finished tying yellow ribbons on Courtney’s ponytails.

  Her baby sister pouted, saying, “You have to come, Nessa. What if I can’t find the bathroom? Or Curtis gets in trouble for not listening?”

  “You have nothing to worry about. A nice lady will be going with you. You can tell her or your dad what you need.” Vanessa kissed her cheek, trying to ease her fears. “Besides, Curtis isn’t going to get in trouble, are you, sweetie?”

  “I’m going to be a big boy!” he huffed indignantly. Then he asked, “Is it going to be like school? Lots of kids?”

  “No, not like school. You’re going to visit your dad and see where he lives,” Vanessa said as she smoothed her baby sister’s dress that was edged with a white, eyelet ruffle. “You look so pretty, baby girl. And Curtis, you are so handsome.” She didn’t dare kiss him, making an effort to honor his desire not to be treated like a baby.

  Courtney’s bottom lip quivered as she asked, her large velvet brown eyes filled with tears, “What if we don’t like our dad? Do we have to stay? I don’t want to sleep at his house?”

  Curtis frowned, tears also in his dark eyes. “I don’t want to sleep at his house, either!”

  “Now, hush, both of you.” Vanessa held one on either side of her. “There is nothing to worry about. You’re both going to sleep in your own beds and your own rooms. Just like always. You’re only going for a visit. Right, Lana?”

  “Right,” Lana echoed, struggling not to give in to her tears.

  “Promise, Nessa?” both twins asked, looking at her hopefully.

  “Promise. Lana and I will be here waiting for you to get back. Later, we can pop popcorn and read your favorite storybook. Okay?”

  Curtis and Courtney nodded. Vanessa’s heart was aching because she knew that in the not-so-distant future, the twins would indeed be spending entire weekends with the Cumminghams.

  “Everything is going to be fine,” she soothed softly.

  “Courtney, do you have your bag ready? Curtis, do you?” Vanessa had had both of them pack a few toys in a small tote bag.

  “Yeah. I have my coloring book, crayons, and four of my favorite cars,” Curtis volunteered.

  Courtney smiled. “I have my bear puzzle, my Cabbage Patch doll, her outfit and little brush, and my coloring book.”

  “Sounds like you’re ready,” Lana offered with forced cheer. “When you get back, you can tell us about your visit.”

  “Maybe he has a swing set?” Curtis said, hopefully.

  “Or a pool, like Ralph?” Courtney offered.

  “I heard something.” Curtis ran to the front door to peer out. “It’s Ralph!”

  “No running,” Vanessa called, as the twins raced out. She turned to her sister and gave her a quick hug. “I’m proud of you.”

  “I didn’t realize it would be this hard. I keep telling myself it’s only for a few hours, but it’s not helping much,” Lana said softly, clinging to Vanessa’s hand.

  “I know what you mean.” Just then Ralph came in, carrying a giggling twin under each arm.

  “Look what I found on the front porch. Should I put them back or keep them?” he teased, playfully jostling each of them.

  “Keep us!” the twins called out between giggles.

  Vanessa and Lana joined in the laughter, something they all needed, badly. “Let Ralph catch his breath,” Vanessa said.

  “Want to see what’s in my bag?” Curtis didn’t wait for a response but took off to get his bag.

  “No, he wants to see mine!” Courtney was right behind him, running
up the stairs.

  Ralph put a reassuring arm around the two sisters. “How are you two holding up?”

  “I was just telling Nessa, it’s a lot harder than I expected. Do we have to do this?”

  “I’m afraid so.” He kissed Lana’s forehead and gently squeezed Vanessa’s hand, and whispered, “Here they come. Smile.”

  The twins took turns showing Ralph what was in their tote bags. Just then, they heard a car stop in front of the house. They all went out to wait on the porch as a young woman made her way up the walk to the porch.

  “Hello. Ms. Vanessa Grant?” At Vanessa’s nod, the woman offered her hand.

  “Jacqueline Henry, social worker. I’m here to accompany Courtney and Curtis to their visit with the Cumminghams.” She handed Vanessa a letter from the court, then she smiled at Ralph. “Hello, Ralph. How have you been?”

  “Hi, Jackee. Haven’t seen you in quite some time.”

  Although annoyed by the exchange, Vanessa forced herself to focus on the legal documents. The social worker went on to say, “And this must be the twins.”

  Vanessa passed the documents to Ralph, then introduced her family. When Ralph looked up from the documents, he said, close to Vanessa’s ear, so he wouldn’t be overheard, “It looks as if everything is in order.”

  Just then a limousine pulled into the driveway and a uniformed chauffeur got out and made his way to where they where standing.

  “Mr. Cummingham sent his car.” The pretty social worker seemed to be having a difficult time taking her eyes off Ralph.

  Vanessa told herself it was none of her business. Besides, the twins were leaving, accompanied by strangers. Somehow the sisters managed to hold it together, smiling as they waved good-bye and watched the sleek car disappear into traffic.

  Ralph did his best to cheer them up. He talked them into going to lunch and a movie at the mall, all the while reassuring them that the Cumminghams were taking good care of the twins. And they had not won the war.

  Although Vanessa had plenty of questions about him and the attractive social worker, she didn’t voice any of them. She had enough to deal with by merely remaining calm for Lana’s sake. And not falling apart, the way she longed to do.